It was not long after we moved into our current home that one of our neighbours showed up at the door with a pint of fresh blueberries. I was delighted - not only with the friendly gesture but what it represented. Old school neighbourly values. Could it be that we were lucky enough to have moved into a milk and cookie neighbourhood? The kind where people knock on each others doors and borrow things like sugar, or eggs, or garden tools??
Sure enough - the next neighbour we met offered us open access to his shed - any gardening tool we may need including his lawn mower. "Young people just starting out shouldn't have to go out and buy all these things" he said.
Next thing that happened - one of our young teenage neighbours knocked on the door looking shy. " My Mom and I are baking cookies and we're short one egg" he explained "would you mind?". I giggled, gave him the egg and thanked him for coming over!
Our relations with most of our neighbours have continued on like this for the past three years and only continue to get better. When our second son was born many of them - even those we rarely see - stopped in with welcome gifts for Loukah and big brother gifts for Trystan. Some baked, others checked in regularly to see how we were doing. One of our neighbours spent three days helping Eric with bathroom renovations and teaching him how to do drywall!!
It happens frequently that some anonymous person brings my garbage cans in or clears the snow from the end of my driveway before I get the chance (especially on the weeks I alone with the boys - I think they keep track! lol ). It's wonderful.
We try to give back where we can. We bring in garbage cans, we take around baking when we've made something. We house sit or take out trash for people when they go on vacation. We genuinely like and care for our neighbours. It's a very warm feeling.
We know that this is not the norm these days. I grew up in a neighbourhood like this so it's familiar to me. To Eric it's a little odd. Charming, but odd. Many of our friends comment that they don't even know their neighbours names! I think it's a sign of our busy lives. The fact that we don't often have the time or the energy or the inclination to say hello and start a conversation. I think it's also often a matter of circumstances. People feel shy, don't know how to start a conversation. Maybe they aren't outside much.
After you've lived somewhere for a while it gets harder to introduce yourself and ask "What's your name" because you feel it should have been done long ago. I know these feelings, I've been there. We had one neighbour who was not part of the friendly exchange. They are a little more particular and guarded. But this past summer I got up some nerve and started talking plants with her. Soon we were exchanging perennials and chatting over the fence!
I'm thinking of all this, this week because we've had a lot of snow recently and my helpful neighbours have really made a difference in my getting through it all. I keep wondering - what would I have done? What if no one had ever knocked on our door? Would I have knocked on theirs?? I'm not sure I would have. I can't imagine how isolated and stressful it would be if I were here on my own with the boys and the snow and didn't feel I could reach out to those around me!
So...let this be a lesson to us all. A reminder to me for the future- and maybe a challenge to anyone reading this who doesn't know their neighbours. BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR!! You don't even have to need it! It's not about the sugar! It's about starting a conversation. Making a connection. Building a sense of community. I think we all need to extend ourselves just a little. Because you never know when you may need those neighbours or they may need you! If you're lucky it'll be a bit of both! What a lovely feeling it is :)
G'Night
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